Last Updated on November 20, 2025 by Slovensky Law
Divorce can shake your sense of direction. You may wake up fine one day and feel lost the next. The process pulls on every part of you, your emotions, your finances, and your confidence in what comes after. Facing the challenges of divorce often means learning how to make rational decisions during one of the most emotional seasons of your life.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Virginia recorded 2.7 divorces per 1,000 people in 2023. Each number represents families caught between emotional exhaustion and financial uncertainty, two struggles that often define divorce in Roanoke and across the state.
At Slovensky Law PLLC, we work exclusively in family and divorce law. Our attorneys combine legal experience with financial insight to help clients regain control during complex cases. As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, Attorney Devon Slovensky understands that the legal outcome matters, but so does how you feel while getting there.
This article unpacks both the emotional challenges of divorce and the financial challenges during divorce many Virginians face, and what you can do today to stay clear, calm, and prepared for your next chapter.
Understand the Emotional Impact of Divorce
Emotions during divorce aren’t a weakness; they’re a signal that something important is changing. You may feel sadness, guilt, or even relief. The problem starts when those feelings dictate your choices. If you’ve ever agreed to something just to get it over with, you’ve already experienced one of the toughest challenges of divorce, the urge to rush decisions before thinking them through.
Taking time to pause, breathe, and consult your attorney before signing or responding helps you avoid regret later. Small moments of clarity can save months of frustration.
How Emotional Decisions Lead to Financial Consequences
When emotions run high, financial mistakes follow close behind. Some clients empty joint accounts, move out of the family home too soon, or stop paying shared bills out of frustration. These actions can backfire. Under Virginia Code § 20-107.3, courts can reduce your share of property if you’ve wasted or hidden marital assets.
Try to view financial steps as business decisions, not emotional reactions. A quick call with your Roanoke divorce attorney before acting can protect thousands of dollars and reduce future financial challenges during divorce.
Our firm regularly helps clients separate financial facts from emotional impulses so decisions remain clear and fair.
Building a Financial Foundation That Protects You
Divorce in Virginia follows an equitable-distribution system, which means property is divided fairly, not necessarily equally. Knowing this early helps you plan instead of panic. Separate property, marital contributions, and retirement accounts each follow specific rules that impact final settlements.
If you’ve built savings or owned a business before marriage, gather documentation proving what existed before your wedding date. This clarity reduces arguments and keeps the challenges of divorce from spiraling into courtroom disputes. Our Roanoke office often helps clients map out each account, loan, and asset so nothing gets overlooked.
Managing Emotional and Financial Divorce Challenges Together
Money stress and emotional exhaustion feed off each other. When you’re tired, you may agree to terms that don’t serve your future. When finances are strained, emotions flare again. Recognizing this cycle is key.
Create a short daily routine to separate emotional tasks from financial ones. Handle bills or negotiations in the morning when your mind is clear. Leave heavier conversations for meetings with your lawyer, not late-night texts with your ex. These small shifts help control emotional and financial divorce challenges before they multiply.
Get Organized Before the Case Gets Complex
Documentation is power. Collect tax returns, pay stubs, titles, and child-related expenses now. Courts rely on evidence, not memory, and Virginia judges expect detailed financial disclosure during discovery. A well-prepared client saves time and legal fees.
If you’ve ever struggled to find a single receipt or password during an argument, you know how stressful disorganization feels. Being proactive removes that pressure and helps you navigate the financial challenges during divorce with confidence. We provide every client with a secure checklist to keep essential documents in one place.
Keep Communication Calm to Protect Your Case
Every message or post can shape your outcome. Arguments through text or social media often resurface in court. Protect yourself by keeping communication short, factual, and respectful. Apps designed for co-parenting can track exchanges and reduce direct contact when emotions are raw.
In Roanoke courts, judges notice when one party stays composed and cooperative. Calm communication not only reduces stress but can also strengthen your position in custody or property negotiations. Staying in control through these challenges of divorce shows the court you are focused on stability, not conflict.
Challenges of Divorce FAQs
Do Virginia courts require a parenting class if we have minor children?
Yes. Many Virginia courts require a court-approved Parent Education Seminar in custody or visitation cases involving minor children. These classes cover how separation affects kids, co-parenting, conflict resolution, and financial responsibilities.
You must usually complete the seminar within 12 months before your court date or within 45 days after, and bring proof of completion. Taking the class early can reduce conflict and costs tied to the challenges of divorce. Check your local court’s specific rule.
Can I keep health insurance after divorce in Virginia, and what are my options?
After a final divorce in Virginia, you generally cannot remain on your ex-spouse’s employer health plan because eligibility as a “spouse” ends once the divorce decree is entered. However, federal COBRA law allows temporary continuation of coverage for qualified beneficiaries, including a former spouse, for up to 36 months after divorce.
You must elect COBRA within 60 days of losing coverage, and you will typically pay the full premium plus up to a 2 percent administrative fee, making the total cost up to 102 percent of the premium.
If your ex-spouse is a Virginia state employee, review the Virginia DHRM “Extended Coverage” program, which mirrors COBRA but applies to state plans. Former spouses are removed from coverage on the date of divorce but may elect Extended Coverage within the required timeframe.
Compare COBRA to Marketplace or private insurance options, which may offer lower-cost alternatives. Divorce also qualifies you for a Special Enrollment Period on the federal Health Insurance Marketplace. Act promptly, because coverage election deadlines are short, and missing them can result in losing your right to continuation coverage.
How are retirement accounts divided in Virginia, and when is a QDRO needed?
Virginia follows equitable distribution, meaning marital assets, including retirement accounts, are divided fairly, not necessarily equally. Under Virginia Code §20-107.3, the court classifies each asset as marital, separate, or mixed and determines the “marital share” of retirement benefits earned during the marriage. The court may award up to 50 percent of that marital share to the other spouse.
For most employer-sponsored plans, such as 401(k)s, pensions, or profit-sharing plans, division is completed through a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO), which directs the plan administrator to pay the alternate payee their portion without triggering taxes or penalties. A QDRO can be entered after the divorce as long as it meets ERISA requirements and the plan administrator approves it.
Members of the Virginia Retirement System (VRS) should follow VRS Domestic Relations Order guidelines, which specify when and how benefits may be paid and how gains or losses are calculated from the valuation date to distribution.
Taking these steps ensures that retirement benefits are divided accurately and helps prevent future financial and emotional disputes after divorce.
What factors do judges consider under Virginia’s equitable distribution law?
When dividing marital property, Virginia judges must first identify which assets are marital, separate, or mixed, and then determine their value. They consider several factors under Virginia Code §20-107.3(E), including each spouse’s financial and non-financial contributions to the marriage, the length of the marriage, debts, tax consequences, and whether either spouse wasted or hid assets.
Courts have broad discretion, but they must explain how these factors influenced the outcome. At Slovensky Law, we help clients organize and present evidence that aligns with these factors to build a stronger case during the challenges of divorce. Our divorce attorney can also explain how subsection E applies to your specific circumstances.
Take Control of the Challenges of Divorce
Waiting too long to act can leave you reacting instead of planning. The earlier you get guidance, the more control you have over both outcomes and emotions.
At Slovensky Law PLLC, we guide clients through every stage of the emotional challenges of divorce and the financial challenges during divorce with clarity and respect. Our approach blends legal experience with real-world planning, helping you stay grounded even when circumstances change. We believe in clear, upfront costs, so you always know what to expect and never face surprises.
If you’re ready to take the next step, schedule a consultation with our Roanoke divorce lawyer today.
