You don’t go into a marriage expecting it to end, but here you are, staring at forms, bills, and the weight of decisions that feel impossible. Divorce in Virginia isn’t just about signing papers. It’s about choices you make under stress that ripple into your custody, finances, and timeline.
One wrong step such as moving out too quickly, signing an agreement without review, or posting on social media can change how a judge views your case. At Slovensky Law, we’ve seen how costly these divorce mistakes can be.
That’s why we created this guide that covers the 7 biggest divorce mistakes to avoid in Virginia, plus some overlooked traps that often catch families off guard. By seeing them now, you’ll be better prepared for the road ahead.
The 7 Major Divorce Mistakes to Avoid in Virginia
These are the common mistakes in Virginia divorce cases that we see most often. Each one might look small in the moment, but the consequences can be huge.
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Moving out of the marital home too soon
It feels like relief: pack a bag, get space, stop the arguing. But in Virginia, moving out can hurt you. Judges look at “status quo” when making temporary custody decisions. If your spouse stays in the home with the kids, that becomes the routine. You may also end up paying for two households before support is set.
Smarter move: Don’t leave without a clear plan, especially if custody is disputed. Talk to a divorce attorney before changing the living arrangement.
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Signing a settlement agreement without legal review
Property settlement agreements (PSAs) in Virginia are binding contracts. Once signed, they’re almost impossible to undo. Under Va. Code § 20-91(A)(9), if you want the faster six-month divorce path and have no minor children, you need a signed agreement in place. Many people rush through and regret it later.
Smarter move: Always have a Virginia divorce lawyer review a PSA before you sign, even if it looks “fair.” A quick review now can save years of problems later.
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Rushing the process just to be done
When you’re exhausted, it’s tempting to take the first deal and move on. But skipping details can mean missed assets, hidden debt, or long-term financial imbalance. In Virginia, a no-fault divorce takes six months (with an agreement and no kids) or one year otherwise. Trying to rush faster usually backfires.
Smarter move: Slow down enough to cover property, debt, support, and custody in writing. A few extra months now is easier than years of regret later.
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Oversharing on social media
Divorce and social media are a bad mix. Screenshots of a vacation, new purchase, or angry post can be used in court. Judges don’t care that it was “just venting.”
Smarter move: If you wouldn’t hand it to your spouse’s attorney, don’t post it. Better yet, take a break from social media until the divorce is final.
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Using children as messengers or leverage
It happens more than people admit: asking kids to “tell your mom this,” or withholding visitation to make a point. Virginia judges weigh each parent’s ability to support the child’s relationship with the other parent. Putting kids in the middle can hurt your custody case.
Smarter move: Keep kids out of adult conversations. Handle communication directly or through counsel, not through your children.
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Hiding assets or “forgetting” accounts
Leaving out a stock option, crypto wallet, or bank account isn’t just frowned upon, it’s punishable. Virginia’s equitable distribution law (§ 20-107.3) requires full disclosure. Judges can penalize dishonesty by awarding a greater share to the other spouse.
Smarter move: Put everything on the table, even if you think it’s minor. It’s better to be transparent than to be accused of hiding.
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Ignoring the tax consequences of divorce decisions
A $50,000 stock account and a $50,000 cash payout are not equal once taxes are factored in. Retirement funds divided without a proper QDRO can trigger penalties. Ignoring these details is a mistake because it can shrink the value of what you actually walk away with, sometimes by thousands of dollars. Many people don’t realize the impact until tax season, when it’s too late to fix.
Smarter move: Review asset divisions with a CPA or tax-experienced attorney before signing. Small adjustments can save thousands.
Other Costly Missteps People Overlook
Apart from the 7 major divorce mistakes, there are quieter choices that can still cause damage. These are ways to avoid divorce mistakes Virginia families often overlook.
Dating during separation without considering the fallout
It can feel natural to want companionship once you’ve separated, but dating too soon in Virginia carries risks. Adultery is still a fault ground for divorce under § 20-91(A)(1). If your spouse believes the relationship started before separation, you may face expensive disputes over timelines and credibility.
Adultery also ties directly into spousal support. Under § 20-107.1, a spouse who committed adultery is generally barred from receiving support. The only exception is if cutting off support would leave them in an extremely unfair situation. For example, after a long marriage where one spouse has no income and serious health concerns.
Do this: If you’re thinking about dating before your divorce is finalized, talk it through with your attorney first.
Skipping a weekly paperwork and case-snapshot routine
During a divorce, the court will ask for financial records on a regular basis, like pay stubs, bank statements, receipts, and mortgage documents. Many people wait until the last minute and scramble to pull everything together, which can delay the process and make them look unprepared.
Setting aside 30 minutes each week to gather new records and update a simple one-page list of assets, debts, and custody expenses keeps everything accurate and accessible.
Do this: Make it a weekly habit. Staying organized from the start prevents delays and shows the court that you’re prepared and credible.
Overlooking county-specific rules
Virginia law applies statewide, but counties add their own quirks. In Roanoke and Lynchburg, for example, filing packets (divorce forms) can vary from those used in Franklin County near Smith Mountain Lake. Using the wrong forms or missing a local requirement can delay your case.
Do this: Check your county’s court website or ask your Virginia divorce lawyer for the local packet before you file.
Common mistakes in Virginia divorce: Examples
- The townhouse refinance: One spouse refinanced to “start fresh” but triggered tax issues that cut their settlement in half.
- The midnight PSA: A rushed signature after an argument left a parent stuck in unfair custody terms.
- The Instagram slip: A “just venting” post about money appeared in mediation and hardened the other spouse’s position.
These examples show how small decisions during divorce can carry significant consequences.
How Slovensky Law Helps You Avoid Divorce Mistakes in Virginia
Divorce is full of decisions that feel urgent but carry long-term consequences. Our job is to guide you through those choices and keep small missteps from becoming major setbacks.
Here’s how we help:
- Reviewing your property settlement agreement before you commit
- Organizing your paperwork so deadlines and details don’t slip through the cracks
- Preparing county-specific filings in Roanoke, Cave Spring, and surrounding Southwest Virginia courts
- Coordinating with financial professionals when taxes or assets complicate things
Every case is different, but the goal is the same: help you avoid divorce mistakes Virginia courts see over and over.
Learn From the Common Mistakes in Virginia Divorce
Nobody wants to look back on their divorce and wonder what they could have done differently. By understanding the common mistakes in Virginia divorce now, you give yourself a better chance at moving forward with confidence and stability.
If you’re staring at a draft agreement, sorting through custody schedules, or worried about financial decisions, Slovensky Law can help. A consultation with our team today may save you from years of frustration tomorrow.
